You may have been the one to end your marriage but are now thinking it was not the best idea. It seemed right at the time but now since you have taken time to think about it, the marriage may have been salvageable. How do you stop your divorce? Is it too late and do you have to go through with it anyway?
Even though you may not think so, you may be in a better position than most people. It is time to suck it up, swallow your pride and talk to your ex-spouse about the situation. Start off with an apology about why you broke up to start with. Explain that you acted in haste and since thinking about it, you have realized you have made a terrible mistake.
Let your ex-spouse know that you no longer want the divorce and that you are sorry for things you may have said or done when you ended the marriage. This may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but unless you are positive you really want the divorce, you will have to go through with this step. Considering you were the one to break up, your ex-spouse may be thinking that it would be good to get back together as well but may be afraid to mention it to you.
If you really want to stop the divorce, you will need to find out how your ex-spouse feels about the idea. Put your cards on the table and let your ex-spouse know you are sorry and want to stop the divorce. Unless you did something truly unforgivable or your ex-spouse does not take your apology seriously, then he or she will probably consider the idea.
If your ex-spouse is willing to consider stopping the divorce, then the marriage is most likely savable. You can explain without pointing fingers or assigning blame that you do not want the divorce and want to save the marriage. You may have broken up and apologized before, but this time make sure you say it so your ex-spouse knows that you are serious this time.
Make sure when you talk to your ex-spouse that you keep your cool. You will have to bite your tongue and watch what you say. This may not be easy but is very necessary. If you begin to become emotional when you try to apologize for the breakup, just remember not to yell or blame your ex-spouse. Keep the conversation mature and calm.
By yelling, blaming or getting upset, you will give your ex-spouse even more reason to continue with the divorce. Let go of the hurt, pain and frustrations, then let your ex-spouse know these feelings are gone forever. Bring it up and get it into the open. This will let your ex-spouse know you are serious and willing to do it right this time.
You must show that you are willing to do whatever it takes to stop the divorce and make the relationship whole again. Explain that the marriage cannot be as it was before when it was in turmoil and that you are willing to go to marriage counseling to do it right. Let your ex know that you know that he or she was not happy and that you are sorry for making them that way.
Show you are sorry and willing to work through the problems no matter how long it takes. You know you have been wrong and making a plan to stop the divorce and get on track for a very happy marriage is the first step. Make sure you make a good solid plan and then implement it. The planning stage is the foundation to stop your divorce.